Safe Space

GROUNDING Grounding helps us be in the here and now. By turning our full attention toward our sensory experience—what we can see, hear, smell, taste, and touch—we can regulate our emotions and come back to the present moment. One of my favorite ways to practice grounding is by using physical sensation: feeling my feet on the ground, feeling my back and legs against my seat, or holding something in my hands. Looking back at these photos, I am reminded of our shoot in the forest that day: the abundant natural beauty that surrounded us, the feeling of the cool dirt, prickly sticks, and dried leaves on the earth, the fresh scent of the redwood trees, and the melodies of the birds calling in the distance.

SAFE PLACE Let’s try a little experiment: imagine the feeling of being stuck in traffic. Maybe you’re running late. A horn is blaring, someone just cut you off, and anytime you change lanes, your lane seems to slow down. Perhaps you noticed a little more tension simply by traveling somewhere in your mind. Now, visualize a serene forest (or your favorite safe place): a sanctuary where everything you see, smell, and hear promotes a sense of calm. That’s better, right? With our external circumstances not always within our control, our inner landscape makes a big difference in how we feel. While dwelling on stressors without managing them can heighten stress and anxiety, visualizing our safe place can be one way to find refuge when we feel overwhelmed.

SELF-COMPASSION A staunch inner critic accompanies many of my clients to therapy. It’s taken up residence in a spare room in my mind as well, waking up once in a while to grouch about something. Maybe you know it too? Despite the notion that criticism pushes us to be better, I see in my practice that those who are most self-critical also tend to feel the most stuck. Thankfully, we have an antidote to self-criticism: self-compassion. Rooted in Buddhist teachings and researched by psychologist Kristin Neff, self-compassion is the practice of treating ourselves with kindness and understanding, embracing our common humanity, and maintaining balanced awareness without ignoring or exaggerating our pain. Practicing self-compassion brings benefits like emotional resilience, reduced depression and anxiety, improved relationships, and increased motivation.

THERAPY Sometimes, we get so enveloped by our suffering that it can be difficult to see a way forward. While a range of emotion regulation techniques and the support of our loved ones are key when it comes to managing stressors, sometimes we need some more assistance. Therapy can be a transformative process that helps to unravel unconscious patterns, emotions, and beliefs. It can empower us to gain fresh perspectives and see ourselves and our circumstances with newfound clarity and insight. Through a collaborative effort, the therapist assists us in untangling and navigating our complexities one thread at a time.

All written materials and modeling are by a psychologist Mariya Mykhaylova